Feeling fine? The Shaping of me Part 4

Last week was big, very big. Not just for me personally, writing '2008' was not that hard, it felt good to let go of it. A blog I have been thinking about for a long time, how to say everything I wanted to say without writing a book. I felt great the past week, better for having done it and the support was out of this world. All your comments, messages, PMs, shares, likes, they showed that it is ok to talk about the sad stuff too and we should all stop hiding and talk more and acknowledge that sometimes ‘I am fine’ isn’t the truth. So thank you to all of you out there, you made me feel better and I hope I helped you feel a tiny little bit better to.

So onto the next big one….

Bullying and mental health.

As it is anti-bullying week it seems right to post this one this week. This is another one that has me raging very quickly. I remember as a child pointing out the boy who used to wait around the corner from our house for me so he could pull my hair to my mum whilst driving past him. I was about 9, he was about 16 and very tall. She stopped the car, jumped out and I didn’t hear what she said but my tiny mum silently roared at him like a lioness and from that day on, he ignored me. Told you she was small but mighty, she didn’t touch him or anything, she just had words, powerful words. 15 years later he was in my music classes and he failed massively with his arrogance, I didn’t say anything, but I thanked Karma. I tell my kids that story sometimes and they love it. Shows that you may be the stronger person one day but chances are you may well look like a giant twat in the future.

I had a wonderful childhood, very idyllic and protected. Friends and Family were close, my family is a bit like an Italian mafia gang and you don’t want to mess with anyone, we support each other and that bond is there even no matter where you are in the world.

One day, however, you leave that little nest and go out to the big wide world where you are exposed to all sorts of people. Was I bullied as a teenager? Not really, I came across some right idiots talking about you behind your back, ensuring you can still hear them. I think every teenager has an element of that and it is hard to ignore it, but ignorance frustrates bullies and they usually stop. The importance is knowing that they are wrong. I mean I was/am ginger, had glasses and wasn’t a size 8, so you go figure the comments, hardly original.

Then you enter the world of work and bullying gets serious. I have another big blog coming your way about working with white middle aged dinosaurs, so I won’t touch on that this time, otherwise this one will turn into a book. I entered the world of retail out of Uni and it is no news that retail is tough. I had some of the worst bosses and ‘friends’ at work, but it was learning who you can trust that got me through it; eventually.

No matter where you meet the bullies, they are not always male, female, older, younger, prettier, funnier than you, but they are always unbelievably insecure themselves, hiding behind a façade of hurtful comments targeted at someone they feel threatened by. It would be easy to attack them back, but there is only one person that matters and that is you. If you look after yourself and ensure you are happy inside, then you can help others achieve wonderful things. By no means does this need to happen by yourself, the emphasise lies in open conversations, talk about your feelings good and bad.

So tell me again – how you are really feeling today?