So there I was walking out of what I thought was the dream job, my future plans ripped apart, feeling pretty low. It is easier said than done saying, when you fall over get back up, straighten your crown and move on. I did, but getting up took a good three years.
What to do? I loved being at home with the kids, but I couldn't stop the urge to shape me, but this time I was really scared. If I wasn't good enough for the last one, why should I bother? Why are mum's forced to stay at home, or are told they are 'lucky enough because they don't have to go to work'. Why do we encourage our daughters to become strong independent women, when, once they have a child they return back to the stove? Was I a bad mum because I wanted both? Can we have it all?
I applied for all sorts of wonderful jobs and got a lot of rejection, I took them all personally, each and every rejection. I didn't realise at the time that mums are not very employable. The more I thought about it the crosser and sadder I got. Maybe we can't have it all and if I had to choose I would choose the family, always would! But why chose? I watched my mum go to work and she seemed happy to do so, we had some of the best chats when I called her at work. I never ever thought she was a bad mum because she went to work. I adored her because she went to work in a hospital helping people get better.
Then I stopped focusing on one area and opened up my search and I noticed that stepping away from traditional businesses, you know the big ones, I stepped away from those dinosaurs and their 1950s mentality towards women. That is right, ladies fought for their rights, and got jobs and perhaps in this day and age they might enjoy their work and family life. It is possible to do both, and be good at both, or shall I say the best version.
I eventually landed a part time role in the creative industry which allowed me to get my confidence back and one day after a private commission which turned out very successful I did what I wanted to do 10 years ago, open my own shop and design studio. I still work in my part time job, I love the job and the stability that comes with it. I love that my children ask me how my day was and what I did at work.
Family will always come first no matter what, but having seen my children watch me get up go to work, come home and work on private jobs really helped them understand what modern life is all about where mums and dads work and mums and dads take time off to spend with the kids, where mums and dads have hobbies outside of work and where we are all the same.
I think you can have it all, if by all you mean a bit of everything that makes you happy and you are willing to work for it. It doesn't matter what 'all' is for you, for me it is a little bit of everything, but if for you your family or your job is your 'all', if it makes you happy, then you have it all.